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  Mick had tears brimming his eyes that he successfully kept there as he stared over at Gator and told me the story of when his son had woken him up in the middle of the night to help him deliver him in the stables.

  “Russ had stayed up all night with Freckles, helpin’ her through her labor. He gave her water, walked her to ease the pain of the contractions, stroked and brushed her hair to comfort her through the birthing process, and he was only a freshman in high school, fourteen years old at the time. When I got out to the stable, I could see that Freckles was in distress. I told Russ to glove up and told him that I would coach him through deliverin’ the calf. Russ was scared, but did exactly as I told him. With his entire arm covered in a thick latex glove, he reached into Freckles alongside the calf to help rotate his body as he eased him out of the birth canal. Freckles bucked her legs from the pain but Russ didn’t move. He took the kicks and absorbed the pain, knowing he couldn’t let go of his grip on the calf. Once the back legs and the bulk of the calf’s body was out, he stroked Freckles over her belly and spoke in soft, soothing words, encouraging her to breathe and push her baby out. Russ felt her bear down with her next contraction and he eased Gator’s head out and gently lowered him to the ground. Freckles turned her head and rotated her body to start licking the sack away from her calf’s face so he could breathe. Russ helped peel away the membranes of the sac and petted Freckles’ head as she worked to clean her infant off. It was just about the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen, short of watching my own two being born.”

  Just hearing the story made me feel like I was there watching the show in real life. Seeing how proud Mick was of his son in that moment, as he reminisced, was powerful. I had never seen that look on my father’s face before, never felt that anything I did made him proud or happy. I never felt the love that Mick was so obviously still holding onto for his son. It was unnerving and made me sad. I was sad for Mick to have lost his son and best friend and have his horse to look at daily to remind him of the pain. I was sad for sweet Joan to be without her son and so far away from her only other child. I was sad for the loss of my mother and sad for the emptiness I felt for never having a father like Mick.

  Chapter Seven

  BREE

  Standing outside of my house at four o’clock in the morning was both eerie and relaxing. It was still dark, quiet and peaceful, just the gentle sound of leaves rustling around as the branches swayed around in the breeze. It felt refreshingly cool today, crisp and sharp. I had on spandex capri workout pants, a thin long-sleeved t-shirt, and my jogging sneakers. I had thrown on a cap since Sue had so rudely interrupted my beauty sleep. Trying to prove a point to her did not allow for time to wet my unruly hair into submission.

  I heard her car coming down the road before I saw it. Smiling deviously, I thought to myself, it’s on. This is going to be a blast!

  Sue pulled up into the driveway and turned her ignition off. I jumped into the passenger side of her vehicle before she could get out.

  “Not so fast, you’re driving!” I cried.

  She looked at me like I had three heads.

  I just smiled. “You asked for this, Curly Sue. Now move.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “I’ll tell you where to turn. Just drive,” I ordered her.

  We drove in complete silence, except for me telling her to turn right or left and to slow down when appropriate. Finally, about fifteen minutes later, we had arrived at our destination. She stopped the car and looked over in my direction with a puzzled expression. The only thing in front of us was a line of trees and some thick brush.

  “Let’s go,” I said cheerfully, getting out of the car and slamming the door.

  She followed behind me with a constant mumble of disgruntled slurs. Some to the tune of “This is insane,” followed by, “My bestie is a complete psychopath,” and then, “Last time I text her to apologize,” and on and on. I tried to keep a straight face and focus on reaching the edge of the trees where the familiar hidden opening was.

  “I hope you stretched. This first bit of the run has a bit of a rough terrain,” I said bluntly as I took off jogging. “You better keep up, Sue. You owe me.”

  She said nothing, but I heard her behind me. Every minute or two, I glanced back out of the corner of my eye to check that she was still close behind me. She actually was keeping up nicely. We jogged in rhythm with each other up and down hills and along a tight path of heavy woods. We leapt over palmetto bushes and carefully maneuvered over roots sticking up out of the ground. We even stepped into a muddy stream that was unavoidable. And through it all, she was silent. I was breathing heavily and grunting from time to time. When we almost reached the clearing that was my goal, I slowed my pace and started walking. She caught up with me and raised both of her hands over her, resting them on top of her head as she struggled to catch her breath. I continued to walk until the thick trees turned into a clearing of sand dunes and sea oats. We climbed over the dunes carefully, trying not to disturb the plants, and were greeted by the most beautiful soft glow of pink creeping over the horizon of the ocean.

  “Oh my God, Bree. You tried to kill me just to watch the sunrise on the beach?”

  I shushed her right away. “Hush. Just watch and listen.”

  So she did. We sat on the sandy hill and we were just there, specks in this huge world of beauty. So small. So insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The pink-tinted sky turned darker pink, and then reddish and orangey, until the very top crest of the sun started to peek out over the horizon. It was breathtaking. Absolutely the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen. I reached over and grabbed Sue’s hand and we sat together hand in hand, watching in awe. In that very moment, I forgave her for being a nasty, selfish bitch and she forgave me for being an uptight, judgmental, close-minded stick in the mud. The sunrise started a new day with beauty and serene peacefulness that we obviously both needed.

  “I’m sorry, Bree.”

  “Me too.”

  “How long have you known about this place? How often do you come here?”

  “I don’t know, once or twice a week for a few years now. I sort of found it by accident and I love that I can come out here and be all alone with my thoughts. Just me, the ocean, and God.”

  “It’s amazing.”

  We sat on the beach for a while as the sun rose higher and higher, lighting up the world all around us. We watched dolphins swim around right in front of us, pretty close to the shoreline, some even jumping out of the water as they played with their dolphin friends. We saw shrimp boats in the distance starting to cast their nets and get their daily catch working. I felt insignificant and overwhelmed all at once. I started to get teary and was unable to stop it before it was too late. Sue noticed right away that I was crying and put her arm around my shoulders in a side hug.

  “I’m so sorry, Bree. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “No, no. It’s not you. If anything, you were right. I just…I’m just… Ugh. I’m just so tired of my life. I know I should be thankful and grateful for everything that I have, it’s just that it’s not enough anymore. I just want to be normal. I want to be twenty-two. I want to be careless and irresponsible. I want to have crushes and fall in love and get my heart broken. I want to have random make out sessions. I want to not have to take care of my family. I want my brother to not need me so much. I want my father to appreciate all that I do for him and the business. I want to go to college and not have to hide it out of fear that my father won’t approve. I want my mother back. I need more than this life. I’m sick of being stuck.”

  “Wow. That’s quite a lot you have on your mind.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I just needed to vent, I guess.”

  “I think you should sit down with your dad and with Liam, together or separately, whichever you think would be better, and just talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Get un-stuck. You can’t continue to be so unhappy. If you let it build up inside and fester, sooner or later, it jus
t going to burst. Your dad will eventually understand and come around—he’ll have to. You do so much for him and the family, and he’ll realize it if you point it out to him. For all intensive purposes, he can’t survive without you, so he’ll have no choice but to accept that things need to be a little different.”

  I just laughed. I laughed out loud, hard. I laughed like I hadn’t laughed in forever. Sue stared at me like I had smacked her in the face.

  “What?”

  “It’s intents and purposes.”

  “What?”

  “You said for all intensive purposes. It’s intents and purposes. Oh my God, that might be the best one yet!”

  “Whatever!”

  We walked back over the dune, me still laughing, her rolling her eyes at my joking at her expense, and entered the woods to return to the car. Opting to just walk back, Sue took the opportunity to chastise me for coming out here alone.

  “So speaking of being gang banged, I can’t believe you jog out here in the middle of the woods to a deserted beach all by yourself. Not exactly a smart decision,” she teased.

  “Oh, it’s fine. I’ve never ever felt uneasy or nervous about being out here. I always carry pepper spray in my sports bra and I’m comfortable defending myself if need be. Those self-defense classes at the gym I’ve taken for years have got to come in handy at some point.”

  “If you say so. Just don’t ever drag my ass out here again.”

  “Listen, Sue, don’t think I didn’t notice how well you were keeping up with me. An average observer would never know that you’re not a runner.”

  “Okay, I confess. It actually felt pretty good to go jogging. Maybe I’ll even consider joining you for more runs soon. Preferably not at four in the morning and not through the swampy woods of North Fernandina, though.”

  “Done. I’ll pick a normal, flat terrain, and a more reasonable time of day jog for you to join me on. It’ll be fun,” I assured her.

  When we got back into the car, I asked her to drop me off at the gym so I could start my day. I would just have to catch a ride home with Liam or something. She obliged, yawning something about getting home to sleep all day as she pulled away. I watched her car disappear down the street and thought to myself that I truly have the very best friend in the history of best friends.

  My day was uneventful. Boring, in fact. My father said fewer than five words to me all day, just “What’s for dinner tonight?” I wanted to reply, “Whatever you want to cook, that’s what!” Instead, I grinned with tight lips and no teeth and replied, “Meatloaf.”

  Chapter Eight

  DREW

  The following day was ordinary and amazing at the same time. Mick and I managed to repair all of the gaps in his fence line and even reinforced some weak spots. We replaced one of his side gates that he’d been putting off simply because he didn’t have the strength to lift it on his own and hadn’t gotten around to impose on anyone else to come over and help him. I was happy to do it. The manual labor was actually relaxing and bonding with Mick all day was better than any therapy I could’ve paid for. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a father figure to respect and look up to. Joan was great too. The love she showed Mick was inspiring. They took such good care of each other and truly seemed like best friends. I couldn’t help but notice the pang in my heart at wanting that kind of marriage someday. This was what a healthy, happy relationship looked like; it was incredible to witness. Knowing Mick and Joan made me want to be a better man. I had already resolved myself to a new start in life, now I just had to live it the right way. I was determined to make good choices and feel proud about where I was going and proud of the man I would become.

  I didn’t have any more nightmares while staying with Joan and Mick. I slept more solid than I had in months. My muscles were sore and my body stiff from all of the hard labor around the yard, but it felt good. It was a different kind of soreness than I was accustomed to. It felt satisfying to push my body to new limits. I lay in the guest bed, comfortable under my quilt, winding down by thinking of ways I could incorporate some of the movements I’d just spent the day mastering into my training regimen—throwing heavy bags of feed, hammering nails, hauling planks of lumber—they were all totally Mr. Miyagi wax-on-wax-off style exercises. I loved it. Anything to mix it up and confuse the body would be beneficial in the octagon. Mixed martial arts was unpredictable. You had to condition your body to be ready to respond to anything, and quickly.

  As I was coming down the stairs to enter the kitchen, I slowed my pace, overhearing Mick talking on the phone.

  “I’m sending you a great guy, Pat. I don’t know him that good yet, but he’s already like a son to me. He’s been through some awful stuff, most of which I don’t even know about, so y’all need to be careful with pushing him too hard, too fast, you hear? But he has a good heart. He’s determined to make something of himself as a fighter and he’s certainly got the body for it. I can’t wait for you to see him. Gigantic! His truck should be fixed today or tomorrow and then he’ll be headed your way. Thanks, man. I really appreciate it… Yeah… Of course you will. You know I don’t ever miss the shrimp festival. Yes-siree. I’ll see ya in a couple weeks.”

  I rounded the corner at the conclusion of his conversation and sat down at the table. Joan wasn’t in the kitchen, but coffee was made and there were blueberry muffins set out for breakfast.

  “Good morning,” I said with a smile. “Listen, Mick, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I caught a little bit of your conversation just now and I want you to know that I won’t disappoint you. I really appreciate everything that you both have done for me. You couldn’t have come into my life at a better time and I’m so thankful. These past two days have meant more to me than you can possibly know. I’m going to go meet Pat and check out your hometown. I hope everything falls into place, but if it isn’t a good fit, I won’t embarrass you,” I assured him, making sure I maintained eye contact as I said it. I took a nervous breath and continued. “I know you’re putting your name out there, so to speak, to vouch for me, and I won’t let you down. I promise.”

  “Son, I’m not worried about that a bit. I trust my gut and it hasn’t ever failed me yet,” he quickly replied patting my upper back with reassurance. “How about we lay off of the chores today and have some fun?”

  “What did you have in mind?” I questioned, apprehensive as I buttered my muffin, still warm from the oven.

  “I thought I might try to get you up on one of my babies,” he proposed.

  “One of your babies? As in, a horse? Uhh…I don’t know about that, sir. I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  “Malarkey! Just try it. I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to ya. Scout’s honor,” he responded, holding up the Boy Scout hand gesture. “We’ll get you up on Ginger. She’s the most mild-mannered one. You’ll do fine.”

  My stomach instantly cramped up, a feeling of nausea creeping up my throat. My palms were sweaty. My heart rate increased. I walked over to the sink and poured out the remainder of my coffee, thinking it wasn’t going to help my stomach or my heart rate.

  “I’ll try anything once, I guess,” I agreed. “But when I’ve had enough, you have to let me stop, okay?”

  “Well, how the hell am I supposed to make you do anything? You’ve got a good five or six inches on me and at least sixty five pounds. Quit worryin’ so much. You might just have some fun ya know?” he teased.

  I shook my head and followed him out onto the back deck, excited but borderline panicking. He led me over to the stables and showed me how to prepare Ginger for riding. I brushed her, letting her feel, smell, and hear me. I made sure all of the hairs were laying down flat. I stroked her belly and made sure she was comfortable with me. With Mick’s guidance, I eased on the halter of the bridle over her head and spread a small, padded blanket over her back for the saddle to rest on top of. Mick showed me how to slowly set the saddle on top of the blanket carefully, so as to not spook her. We checke
d for wrinkles and gaps in the padding and proceeded to cinch the straps under her belly and on the sides of her body. He looked at the stirrups and double checked all of the straps before handing me the rope that was attached to her bridle. I walked her over to the water trough and encouraged her to drink. I talked to her like I was talking to a human. I don’t know if it helped her or me, but I was becoming slightly less anxious as we went along. She seemed to be at ease with me. While I was talking to her and continuing to pet her, Mick had already saddled and bridled Freckles, leading her over to where we were standing.

  “You ready, city boy?”

  “I guess as ready as I’m going to get, country hick!”

  Mick laughed deep from his belly and came over to show me how to get on. He first climbed on Freckles, explaining where to put each foot and where to place my hands to hold on. Then, he dismounted and stood right next to me to help if I needed it. I climbed on just as I’d seen him do. Wobbling a little, I willed my body to propel up, knowing that just a slight hesitation would make me fall on my ass and potentially get a hoof in the mouth. Before I knew it, I was sitting on the saddle. It felt incredibly powerful. I was high above the ground and comfortable. I bent over to stroke Ginger’s head between her ears, thanking her for taking it easy on me. She snorted and shook her head. I worried about my heavy weight on her, but she didn’t seem bothered at all. She stood completely still and waited for my direction. Mick mounted Freckles again and started to turn her and walk away.

  “Wait! What do I do now? How do I make her go? How do I steer this thing?” I yelled to him.

  Mick turned his head to look behind me and made that clicking sound with his mouth. Ginger started to walk towards him and I was thrown off balance with her sudden movement.